避免溝通中的7個(gè)陷阱，治好你的社交恐懼癥
People who are good at small talk always avoid these 7 mistakes
不管是工作還是生活，都離不開(kāi)溝通交流。但很多人的煩惱往往也來(lái)自于此，特別是當(dāng)代年輕人常處于一種“網(wǎng)絡(luò)群聊交際花，線下社恐似啞巴”的狀態(tài)。
既然面對(duì)面的溝通無(wú)法避免，我們應(yīng)該掌握好聊天的語(yǔ)言藝術(shù)。在與人對(duì)話(huà)時(shí)注意避免以下7個(gè)錯(cuò)誤，可以讓交談變得更加輕松自如高效。
1. Assuming that nobody wants to talk to you
假設(shè)沒(méi)人愿意和你交談
If you’re shy, I get it. But you’re not the only one. If you’re fretting about seeming confident or “natural,” you’re missing the point: Stop thinking about yourself. Instead, think of reaching out as an act of service.
如果你害羞，可以理解。但你不是唯一一個(gè)害羞的人。如果你為表面上的自信或“自然”而煩惱，那你就搞錯(cuò)了重點(diǎn)：停止考慮自己的感受。相反，把與人交流看作是一種服務(wù)。
Note:
Fret 煩惱，煩躁
2. Interrupting or intruding upon an existing conversation
打斷或干擾正在進(jìn)行的對(duì)話(huà)
Timing is everything. If you see two or more people vigorously engaged in conversation, they’re probably not ready for you to barge in.
時(shí)機(jī)決定一切。如果你看到兩個(gè)或兩個(gè)以上的人聊得正嗨，他們可能還沒(méi)有準(zhǔn)備好讓你插嘴。
First, wait for a lull. Then once you have someone’s attention and, ideally, receive a non-verbal go-ahead, that’s your chance.
首先，等待一個(gè)對(duì)話(huà)間歇。然后，一旦你吸引了某人的注意力，理想情況下，得到對(duì)方的示意，這就是你的機(jī)會(huì)。
Note:
Lull 平靜時(shí)期，間歇
3. Start talking without having something to say
開(kāi)啟對(duì)話(huà)時(shí)無(wú)話(huà)可聊
If someone appears distant or lost in thought, moving into their personal space and mumbling “hey” is hardly an icebreaker.
如果有人顯得疏遠(yuǎn)或出神了，可以走進(jìn)他們的私人空間，小聲說(shuō)嘿很難打破僵局。
Try asking permission (e.g., “Excuse me, do you mind if I ask you something?”) and make sure you have a fully formed question or comment in mind (e.g., “Are you having a good time?” ).
試著征求許可（例如，“對(duì)不起，你介意我問(wèn)你一些事情嗎？”）并確保你腦子里有一個(gè)完整的提問(wèn)或評(píng)論（例如，“你玩得開(kāi)心嗎？”）。
It’s all about creating a comfortable opportunity for the other person to respond.
這一切都是為了給對(duì)方創(chuàng)造一個(gè)舒適的回應(yīng)機(jī)會(huì)。
4. Broaching controversial topics
提出有爭(zhēng)議的話(huà)題
If you’re talking to someone new, it’s generally best not to talk about weighty, off-putting or polarizing topics.
如果你在和一個(gè)剛認(rèn)識(shí)的人對(duì)話(huà)，一般最好不要談?wù)摮林亍⒘钊瞬豢旎騼蓸O分化的話(huà)題。
For starters, aim for something simple and close at hand that you and the other person can observe together. Maybe it’s the music you’re both hearing, or the food you’re both tasting.
在初期階段，尋找一些你和別人可以聊到一起的簡(jiǎn)單而貼近生活的話(huà)題。也許是你們都聽(tīng)的音樂(lè)或品嘗的食物。
5. Being hard to follow
說(shuō)話(huà)讓人難以理解
Once you’ve made a connection with each other, keep that connection going by making yourself easy to understand.
一旦你已經(jīng)與人開(kāi)始交流，要讓自己的話(huà)通俗易懂，將溝通繼續(xù)下去。
If you speak different languages, for example, slow your speech and enunciate clearly. If they ask you what you do for work, answer in a way that doesn’t take five minutes or deploy a lot of workplace jargon.
例如，跨語(yǔ)言交流時(shí)放慢你的語(yǔ)速，發(fā)音清晰。如果有人詢(xún)問(wèn)你的工作，回答不要花上五分鐘，也不要使用太多職場(chǎng)術(shù)語(yǔ)。
6. Talking too much about yourself — or about the other person
談?wù)撎嚓P(guān)于你自己或其他人的話(huà)題
It’s often said that people love to talk about themselves, and that asking questions is the secret ingredient to good conversations. But that’s not true for everyone.
大家常說(shuō)，人們喜歡談?wù)撟约?，提出?wèn)題是良好溝通的秘訣。但并非所有人都是這樣。
Nobody likes to feel interrogated, so if you sense that questions aren’t welcome, back off.
沒(méi)有人喜歡被審問(wèn)，所以如果你覺(jué)得問(wèn)題不討喜，就此打住。
7. Wasting someone’s time
浪費(fèi)別人的時(shí)間
If you’re talking to someone, talk to them. Don’t stare at the floor or look over their shoulder at another person. Put your phone away. Be present and give them your full attention.
如果你在和某人對(duì)話(huà)，就認(rèn)真講話(huà)。不要盯著地板看，也不要回頭看其他人。把你的手機(jī)收起來(lái)。把你的注意力都留給對(duì)方。
